ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE

WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE

This is the winner:-

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “'Go to hell.”'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part lime.

PROFILES......IN Shaadi .com...

Ultimate.................I bet u can't stop laughing ;-)

These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi.com http://shaadi.com/
These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling
errors have no place in a profile description as everything is
straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar
after reading this mail...

My intention is not to hurt any ones sentiments but a little care need to b taken when making a public profile.

Hee we go!

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- Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,
If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good
education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome
to my heart...when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya ~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Wut Homework?) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.
I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u
then why to late
come on ........hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my
lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot (I
don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but
while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast (by not
wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY
TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM
LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})

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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone
groom and he must think of the future life if he
is toolike this he
would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl
wants)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I
love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok (I am again
clueless but I liked the use of "ok".
The person is
suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two
sister and father &
mother sister completely married
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes (height of
desperation! J )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run
my life happily.
i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'.
i expect the good minded and clean habits boy
who may be in the same
caste or other caste accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..???)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Iam Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social
service.
(Zebra..???)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comments Welcome! My intention is not to hurt any ones sentiments but a little care need to b taken when making a public profile.

Equation of life --Fully Faltu

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore, Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words, Human that don't enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words, Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore, Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words, Women that don't spend = Donkeys

To Conclude from Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have...Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend

money


Therefore...from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Only for Men!

Only for men and of course Woman can to understand man.

male readers feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a
river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord
appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he
needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe.
"Is this your axe?"
the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe.
"Is this your axe?"
the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three
axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the
Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is
this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up
with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up
with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all
three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three
wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!" We are Men!